pockytardis: my favorite thing is when someone’s in the shower and you just hear a distant BANG BANG BANG CRASH and you can tell they knocked over like all of the shampoo bottles
assbutt-in-the-garrison: k1mkardashian: sometimes i read read as read when it’s actually supposed to be read as read
percypan: THIS GUY JUST ASKED ME WHAT MY NAME WAS AND I DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT HE SAID SO I SAID 4:45
rocker310: stylishirish: horain: stylishirish: this guy i know throws this wild crazy party at the end of every school year and he invites literally everyone in our grade and this year i’m gonna call the cops ahead of time to shut it down because i once let him borrow a pencil and he never gave it back that’s a lot of anger over just 1 pencil. it was a mechanical pencil You may...
singingninja007: est-offensa-et-mirari: deppsydoodle: deppsydoodle: why is peter pan always flying? he neverlands I love this joke because it never grows old it also has a nice Hook
yourbones: somegirlnamedkaitlyn: My dog understands the word “No,” so how are you going to tell me teenage boys don’t know the difference between rape and consent? Nailed it.
rneerkat: if you owned a company it would go bankrupt very quickly because you do not know how to mind your own business
tahthetrickster: i really like looking at google image searches for “firemen rescuing cats” or something because you get super cute pictures like AND THEN THERE’S THIS ONE
fwips: sasstielspn: fwips: ”sending hate mail to ppl on the internet is like nailing jello to a tree” -Benjamin Franklin Benjamin Franklin died in 1790 are u calling me a liar
broadway-aradia: i really want to carry a torch in a cave just like one time
laugh-addict: when u eat a chocolate chip cookie fresh out of the oven
When you show someone else something funny you...
laugh-addict: You: Them:
fuckyeahdragontales: my dad: who the hell is watching dragon tales on netflix? me:
mrcraabs: did you know? the earth has one moon. and it is named ‘the moon’. follow for more nerdy facts
”It’s a most distressing affliction to have a sentimental heart and a skeptical...– Naguib Mahfouz (via rabbitinthemoon)
supermerwholocked: theoriginalspike: innumerablegibbons: A woman got breast implants made of wood yesterday It would be funny if this joke had a punchline Wooden tit
crowmunist: ACCIDENTALLY OFFENDING SOMEONE YOU WERE TRYING TO HAVE FRIENDLY CONVERSATION WITH
kawashironitori: talking to person u like a lot and u feel like ur annoying them